Found!

We called the wedding hall on Sunday with little hope of our camera sitting in their lost and found bin...

But alhamdulillah, it WAS found! The manager found it in the parking lot. I couldn't even contain my excitement, "wait, are you sure it's the canon s95? With pictures of a baby?! Ommmggaahhhhh thank you!" We were just amazeddddd that it wasn't run over and destroyed. The screen had a few scratches and cracks but it works! Seriously, what the heck are the odds of that?! 

Allah tests in little ways, surely. I'd like to think I passed this test, however minuscule it seems. Inshallah. 

Lost

We went to a wedding last night and I'm pretty sure we left our camera at the hall or it fell out of the stroller and in the parking lot. I didn't realize it until a few hours ago, because I just assumed it was in the car this whole time. I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying to avoid getting wrapped up in it. I saved most of Noah's pictures alhamdulillah, and the rest...well nothing to be done.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajioon. I keep repeating it, not because I'm only expecting the camera to magically appear, but to console my inner self. 

This is a test. It's a tiny materialistic thing. Get over it. Alhamdulillah it wasn't the SLR! Alhamdulillah it wasn't anything else!

I just hope that it's found, or if lost / stolen, I didn't have hijab less pictures of myself and friends (because I honestly can't remember what was on it). That's really my main concern. #strugglesofahijabi. I hope someone is *nice* enough to just delete the pics ASAP. *insert sweating bullets emoticon*

Inshallah.

Holiday

I have a four day weekend. Xmas day until Sunday night.

This is exciting. It's like a mini vacation. We have lots planned. Potlucks, wedding, our 6th anniversary, lunch with the family, cleaning, laundry-ing, cooking. (JK to the last one)

I am excited to stay up, sleep late and spend time with the family. Yay!

Co sleeping

I was the mom who said to herself, "I will not let my baby sleep with me, in the same bed, or in the same room. Uh nooo, not gonna happen!"

I was the mom who kept her full size bed to make sure co sleeping didn't happen. "Now the baby definitely won't fit here!"

Then I got pregnant and was slowly working on his nursery (which...10 months later is still incomplete *insert annoyed-cuz-I-juss-got-no-creative-juices-flowin face*) and I thought, "no wayyyy can I let my iddy biddy baby sleep alone in his nursery because it's all the way down the hall! He's going to be so lonely!" 

So we purchased a playard and positioned it RIGHT next to our bed.  

"Plus he can't sleep with us... SIDS!!! Hellooooooo!" I thought to myself, and aloud to Tahmeed. He agreed. 

And now I am the mom whose son has been co-sleeping with her (and dad of course) for the last. 5. months. Uhmmm yeah. 

Lesson? Never say (or think) never. 

*At the end of October, we did attempt sleep training in the crib for about 1 week. Not gonna lie, it was a little like hell. Ok wait...that's an exaggeration. Maybe more like the way you feel when you can't step out of a really really boring lecture. Torture. Torture? I don't know, at a loss for words. Semi torture? Eh fine, it wasn't so bad. Not gonna complain, it could've been worse alhamdulillah. There was really only one thing that made it tough. He would just wake up and cry around 2 am every.single.morning. So we gave up because we needed our sleep and we needed our sanity. Back in the bed he came and gone were those 2 am cries. I will say that I'll definitely cherish these moments. It kinda flatters me that he likes to sleep between us, tucked in next to all of our body fat. I mean let's be real, how much longer is he going to let me cuddle with him? I'll take what I can get! 

Work

I work full time. 

I have a little baby. 

Working full time is tough. 

I'm just getting tired of working so much. I'm tired of being away from my baby for 50 hours during the week (work + travel time). Sure, I'm very blessed that his caretakers are his grandparents (my Inlaws) alhamdulillah, but I am missing out on so much. *tears*

The weekends, my days off, are spent cleaning, running errands and occasionally cooking. And during all this, all I keep thinking about is how I could spend it with the baby instead of doing housework. Can someone clean for me, please! I'll pay you with food... I mean... money??

Anyway, lately I've been asking myself, "could we survive if I worked part time?" I know that's a bit dramatic. I honestly thought we couldn't, at first, mostly because of my school loans, BUT I've paid off about 1/2 the amount alhamdulillah and I think we can manage now.

I'm considering requesting to go part time very very very soon inshallah. We'll see how that goes. 

Wanderlust

Success...is when your son finally decides he'll fall asleep on your lap, during the plane ride, instead of having a HUGE screaming fit because he doesn't have his bed and isn't being cuddled to sleep! (This is also a fairly new development, where he feels comfortable enough to lay in my arms and rest/fall asleep with his head on my chest. I waited 9 whole months for this moment!!!) 

Success is also when you are given the opportunity to take the car seat on board, free of charge because attendants  are nice enough to offer! Alhamdulillah. 

Number of trips/plane rides so far: 6 

Michigan x 5. Florida x 1. 

And he's not even 1 yet. Can I go back in time and have this life? 

We are definitely trying to travel as much as we can before baby turns 2. 

Now what I really wanna know is who the heck came up with the idea that you should pay full air fare for a 2 year old?! 

9 months

(Today is June 10, 2015. This post was  originally written in November uhhh yeah I know that's 7 months ago and then re edited in January, I think...so I'm not even sure what date this will be under once I publish it. I never had the chance to complete it and it has just been sitting there, daunting me with the gray scaleness of the title. I figured I should just post it already, for memories sake :) ) 

On vacation currently and decided to write a little post! I have so many pending, just never get around to completing them. We are currently in Miami!! The weather is warm and I'm loooving it. 

Anyway this post is just a quick recap of his milestones and behaviors (that I can recall off the top of my head). 

Watching him grow up has been fun. Alhamdulillah he hasn't been a handful...yet. 

He's crawling all over the place now. 

He picks himself up to stand and often shimmies over while holding the sofa- bed-play pen. 

He tries to imitate our behaviors. He'll clap after we clap. He claps when we say "yay!" 

He shakes his head "no" along with us. 

He gets excited when he sees us eating our food and wants to join. 

He absolutely loves the Bengali lullaby, "Aye aye chad mama" as courtesy of his grandma. 

He also does this new thing where his eyes will lock on our lips and then he'll use his pincher grasp to pinch and pull on it. He'll then stick his fingers in our mouth. It's pretty painful but he finds that's hilarious, laughs and continues to pinch and pull. 

 

Solids

Transitioning into baby food was interesting. The first time we fed him food was in July I think. 

He was hungry for milk and very fussy. HORRIBLE TIMING! He didn't know what to do with the cereal and all he wanted was a bottle. Eventually I started with rice cereal and he loved it. Then it was time to try the "good" stuff. Bananas, apples, spinash, squash... "Real" people food.

I was excited! I bought lots and lots of veggies and fruits. I steamed them and then used my magic bullet (Thanks to the guest who gifted us that on our walima!) to purée. I froze them in ice trays and then transfered them into gallon size zip lock freezer bags. I opted for as many organic products that I could find.

I can't recall now at the top of my head which vegetable was first. 

(To be continued..)

Pumpkin Spice...everything

A couple of weekends ago was my first trip to an apple orchard, as was Noah' s (yay!).

The Orchard was in upstate NY and quite frankly, I was not interested in the 1.25 hour drive up on a Sunday morning. Tahmeed convinced me it was great, as he got the recommendation from his boss.

"Isn't there anything closer?!"

"Come onnnnn, it's top 10 on yelp!"

Alhamdulillah there was no traffic and the commute went by quick. It was a family (and friends) affair. The more the merrier! The trip, for me, was initially just a photo op (for the baby) but I ended up having a great time! Maybe it was because I didn't expect much. :)

The Orchard was huge. There were many activities and sights to see. A haunted house, a corn maze, petting zoo, family fun zone with tube slides, train rides and bouncy houses, a pumpkin patch, hay ride and of course, the apple orchard itself! The vegetable gardens were dead and barren but maybe we'll catch them next year.

I don't know how we lasted being outside for 5 hours because it was so cold! I was slightly under dressed but I made it through *insert flexed bicep emoticon*. Noah had fallen asleep about about an hour into the trip and slept like a baby the whole way through (pun intended). Before his nap, we got to snap a few pictures. He got to ride on a wagon (fully supervised and held by a family member of course), until staff informed us we were not allowed. Booo! He grabbed his first apple, albeit from the crate (picture below) and posed at the pumpkin patch! He was warmest out of all of us. I dressed him in a fuzzy onesie with a fuzzy white coat on top and then a fuzzy blanket on top of all that other fuzziness! And he was laying in his bassinet (vs the usual car seat). Seriously, that is the LIFE!

During the pumpkin patch shoot, I felt a little rushed and really didn't pick the perfect pumpkins or set the scene. They were dirty and old, lol. He was not interested in sitting on the ground near the pumpkins. He wanted to grab. He wanted to stand. Except he really doesn't know how to stand on his own. So we played a game; panicking mommy, with dad as the supervisor (I think we took turns too, can't remember) holding, releasing, and arms ready to grab at any moment. "Ok, ok, I think I got it...hold on hold on...wait wait wait, grab him, he's gonna fall!" all whilst trying to get the "perfect" shot. Yeah, didn't happen. It's okay though, babies are cute regardless!

Since we went very late into the season, we had to pick most apples from the ground, lol. It was a bit disappointing untillll my father in law found the perfect orchard. It was way past the pumpkin patch, past the slide and after an open empty patch of land. NO ONE WAS THERE AND APPLES WERE STILL ON THE TREE! We couldn't believe it. It was a beautiful sight! We picked apples and ate them. I can still taste the freshness! My in-laws even climbed the trees to get the apples at the top. Thank God no one else was around, we probably would have gotten kicked out, lol.

All the younguns ended the trip with a visit to the haunted house. I took Noah to the car instead to feed and change him and warm myself up as it got very chilly towards the end.

The only thing I didn't like about the orchard were the rest room facilities. Most hand washing stations were outside and there were many porter potties. I saw a baby changing station but it was literally attached on a wall outside of the restroom, in open space. There was no way I could have undressed him in the cold. So I didn't. Thankfully he didn't fuss. And thankfully my bladder was under control that day.

Anyway, here are a few pictures! None of Noah's face as I'm still debating whether I want his pictures up on a public platform. 

 Can't wait to do it again next year!

Impromptu

We decided last minute that we should go to Europe or Asia for the week we took off in November.

London? Spain? ITALY! Wait, no, Singapore! Australia? Maldives! Ahhh the possibilities. 

...and then we realized our baby does not have a passport and it's too much of a time crunch to get it expedited. Who knew both parents had to appear in person with baby in hand to get a passport made? NOT I!

Life would have been easier if these offices operated on weekends or after 5 pm. Oh NYC, how I hate despise thee.

Firsts

"He rolled over today!"

"Did you see, a tooth is slowly coming out!"

"She took him to the park and put him on the swing...he really enjoyed it!"

"He waved goodbye to the baby sitter!"

Many firsts that I have missed due to working full time. The last two occurred today and my heart actually broke a little when I heard about him on the swing.

I was taken aback. I didn't recall giving anyone permission to do that. I was supposed to take him to the park. I was supposed to record his first swing experience. That was my job. But instead of showing my disapproval, as I tend to clearly wear my emotions on my face, I just smiled, screamed and squealed for my baby boy. He responded with a beautiful smile and laughter.

And really, that  was all I needed to take away my heartache.

The REAL return. I think.

I used to love blogging and was an active user on xanga oh so many years ago (yes, like about 15 years ago). My blog was nothing more of random rants and attempts to portray life turmoil poetically. Just kidding. But really, what important thoughts could a teenager have been expressing? Gosh, those were the days of rice bunny (aka current Michelle Fawn) , the pre-selfies, pre-havingadigitalcameracuzitwasaluxury and pre-high speed internet days! Yes, dial up! Anyone remember that? I remember the times I would have battles with my mom and her love for the phone vs my love for using the internet. And success for me was measured by the speed of the little 2D AOL man, running across those three boxes with the phone static being his theme song.

As years went by, my blog posts became less and less frequent. Was it lack of time? Interest? College? Life? My friends and I attempted a collaborative blog and it was great for a while, but that also died down. Even during that period I would have difficulty finding the inspiration and patience to sit and write. 

Le old teenage blog is still around somewhere but all posts were made private many years ago. In fact, my posts were always private and only accessible to other users. I was never comfortable of putting myself out there for the world. Perhaps that is another reason why I stopped writing. *shrugs*

But fast forward about 15 years... Getting married, moving back to the east coast, having a full time career (and loving it on most days, alhamdulillah) and of course...a semi-new (8 month old) baby! 

And here I am, with perhaps the umpteenth attempt to restart again (read post from 3 months ago, lol) My purpose this time? I just want to capture moments that I will be able to share with my family and children, but mostly for my child[ren] as I'm sure my life is not cool enough for my family to care, haha. 

I sit here, with babe in lap, attempting a blog post after many many years on hiatus. So Hi! :)