Found!

We called the wedding hall on Sunday with little hope of our camera sitting in their lost and found bin...

But alhamdulillah, it WAS found! The manager found it in the parking lot. I couldn't even contain my excitement, "wait, are you sure it's the canon s95? With pictures of a baby?! Ommmggaahhhhh thank you!" We were just amazeddddd that it wasn't run over and destroyed. The screen had a few scratches and cracks but it works! Seriously, what the heck are the odds of that?! 

Allah tests in little ways, surely. I'd like to think I passed this test, however minuscule it seems. Inshallah. 

Lost

We went to a wedding last night and I'm pretty sure we left our camera at the hall or it fell out of the stroller and in the parking lot. I didn't realize it until a few hours ago, because I just assumed it was in the car this whole time. I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying to avoid getting wrapped up in it. I saved most of Noah's pictures alhamdulillah, and the rest...well nothing to be done.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajioon. I keep repeating it, not because I'm only expecting the camera to magically appear, but to console my inner self. 

This is a test. It's a tiny materialistic thing. Get over it. Alhamdulillah it wasn't the SLR! Alhamdulillah it wasn't anything else!

I just hope that it's found, or if lost / stolen, I didn't have hijab less pictures of myself and friends (because I honestly can't remember what was on it). That's really my main concern. #strugglesofahijabi. I hope someone is *nice* enough to just delete the pics ASAP. *insert sweating bullets emoticon*

Inshallah.

Holiday

I have a four day weekend. Xmas day until Sunday night.

This is exciting. It's like a mini vacation. We have lots planned. Potlucks, wedding, our 6th anniversary, lunch with the family, cleaning, laundry-ing, cooking. (JK to the last one)

I am excited to stay up, sleep late and spend time with the family. Yay!

Co sleeping

I was the mom who said to herself, "I will not let my baby sleep with me, in the same bed, or in the same room. Uh nooo, not gonna happen!"

I was the mom who kept her full size bed to make sure co sleeping didn't happen. "Now the baby definitely won't fit here!"

Then I got pregnant and was slowly working on his nursery (which...10 months later is still incomplete *insert annoyed-cuz-I-juss-got-no-creative-juices-flowin face*) and I thought, "no wayyyy can I let my iddy biddy baby sleep alone in his nursery because it's all the way down the hall! He's going to be so lonely!" 

So we purchased a playard and positioned it RIGHT next to our bed.  

"Plus he can't sleep with us... SIDS!!! Hellooooooo!" I thought to myself, and aloud to Tahmeed. He agreed. 

And now I am the mom whose son has been co-sleeping with her (and dad of course) for the last. 5. months. Uhmmm yeah. 

Lesson? Never say (or think) never. 

*At the end of October, we did attempt sleep training in the crib for about 1 week. Not gonna lie, it was a little like hell. Ok wait...that's an exaggeration. Maybe more like the way you feel when you can't step out of a really really boring lecture. Torture. Torture? I don't know, at a loss for words. Semi torture? Eh fine, it wasn't so bad. Not gonna complain, it could've been worse alhamdulillah. There was really only one thing that made it tough. He would just wake up and cry around 2 am every.single.morning. So we gave up because we needed our sleep and we needed our sanity. Back in the bed he came and gone were those 2 am cries. I will say that I'll definitely cherish these moments. It kinda flatters me that he likes to sleep between us, tucked in next to all of our body fat. I mean let's be real, how much longer is he going to let me cuddle with him? I'll take what I can get! 

Work

I work full time. 

I have a little baby. 

Working full time is tough. 

I'm just getting tired of working so much. I'm tired of being away from my baby for 50 hours during the week (work + travel time). Sure, I'm very blessed that his caretakers are his grandparents (my Inlaws) alhamdulillah, but I am missing out on so much. *tears*

The weekends, my days off, are spent cleaning, running errands and occasionally cooking. And during all this, all I keep thinking about is how I could spend it with the baby instead of doing housework. Can someone clean for me, please! I'll pay you with food... I mean... money??

Anyway, lately I've been asking myself, "could we survive if I worked part time?" I know that's a bit dramatic. I honestly thought we couldn't, at first, mostly because of my school loans, BUT I've paid off about 1/2 the amount alhamdulillah and I think we can manage now.

I'm considering requesting to go part time very very very soon inshallah. We'll see how that goes.