One

Today you are one month old.

Where has time flown? Subhanallah! 

Today I took notice that you fill in those 0-3 month sized pants so well, when just 2 weeks ago, you were swimming in them. 

You've also given your father the cutest coo's and smile, if only for a few seconds before you started being fussy again. I've gotten a few smiles as well, as if you knew I was speaking to you.

Your brother always pats you way too hard on the back. He's always pulling on your legs and arms and sometimes hitting you. He gets very upset when we tell him to be nice or maneuver his hands away. But he doesn't know any better. And then there are times where he gives you kisses, and hugs, and it's just too cute! 

You're mostly still interested in sleeping your days (and nights) away and need to be cradled usually. And you like getting that breast milk every 2 hours. 

They say newborns can't be spoiled, except your doctor doesn't agree. He thinks you're starting to give us the run around with your crying fits. 

But I agree, you can't be spoiled, and I don't mind rocking and cuddling you to sleep...for now. :)

Chuck E Cheese

Today was our first outing as a family of four!! It actually didn't take long to head out of the house. Hana doesn't need much packed as she's EBF and doesn't even take a pacifier. We just need diapers, wipes, a change of clothes, and off we go! Noah actually requires more: milk, snacks, clothes, comb (his hair always gets super messy, haha) 

I still remember Noah's first outing, it took us SO long to even step out of the house!! I think he was 3-4 weeks old and we decided to grab dessert at our favorite spot: Martha's country bakery. Now with baby#2, it's like, "I'm sure we'll survive somehow, let's just get going already!"

Now I just grab and go. 

It was also the first time we used our double stroller: Baby Jogger City Select. I didn't take it out of the car so unsure how easy or difficult unloading it is but pushing that baby (and babies) around was a piece of cake!

Anyway, so where did we go today? To Chuck E Cheese (our first time!) and boy was that quite an interesting experience...

We arrived around 11 am and Noah was already cranky (unsure whyyyy as he napped in the car) and overwhelmed. He was very clingy. When Tahmeed walked away, Noah could not stop calling out "Baba!!" and when I walked away it was a constant, "Momma!" We tried to get him to enjoy the "rides" but as soon as the rides would start moving, he would scream and shout. We fed him pizza and he was happy...until we tried to get him involved in the rides again, lol. The experience was pretty overwhelming for me. We left after about an hour. But baby Hana slept through it all!! Until we got back into the car of course. She had a quick BF session and diaper change and back home we went! (Btw BF in a jam packed car with two car seats, wearing hijab... And trying to remain covered is tough as HELL!) 

But the most important thing is, we survived. 

Untitled

In times like this, I wish my mother lived nearby. I've tried to convince my family  many times to move but have failed. 

Sigh. 

2 under 2

2 under 2 is tough. 

Toddler ... tougher than newborn.

Sleep when baby is sleeping? No can do with toddler in town. Folks with one babe, enjoy. Enjoy while it lasts lol

Alhamdulillah 

Water

"Wey tha wadhu?" ("Where's the water?")

Noah's first real sentence today! 

Yay!

Mother of two

This last week has been a blur. Each day syncing into the next. Day into night, night into day. 

I've mostly been stuck in the bedroom, nursing our new babe. Breast feeding her, changing her, cuddling, and napping with her. 

I've been trying to slow the pace down, which is not like my usual self. I'm always on the run, fixing, cleaning, always up and moving.  

I've been trying to split my time into many ways, to spend it with my other baby and husband but it's been near impossible. I know Noah feels something different. He feels my absense. He's been tougher to handle this week. "Momma, momma..." He always calls out from the bottom of the stairs and comes over to see me. He always has a huge smile on his face and his hugs and kisses are just to die for. I miss him. A lot. But I am so blessed that my husband has been able to take two weeks off and has been the one to take care of Noah. This has given me a new found love for my other half. Alhamdulillah. 

The baby is a week old already.

I really can't believe it. 

I have another child. 

Subhanallah. 

And my heart has never been happier. 

She's here!!

Perhaps I spoke too soon! 

Hana (حنا , হানা) Maryam Kalam arrived at 8:57 pm on 11/21, lol (refer to previous post). 

Alhamdulillah it was a successful VBAC!! Labor actually started Wednesday but I suppose I'm not counting it until my water broke Saturday morning, a little before 5. I had to push for 3 hours and 5 minutes (oh yes I was watching that clock religiously) until 8:57!!

She was taken to NICU because I had developed fever while pushing, 101.3 (without other symptoms) and I was given antibiotics so as precautionary, she was too. Alhamdulillah all her blood work came back negative and she was discharged today with us.

We've been home for 12 hours already. It's definitely an interesting experience. In so thankful Tahmeed has two weeks off and my in laws are temporarily living with us because they are all such a help with watching Noah. I missed my little cutie pie so much at the hospital.

I'll update more as days go on...

Alhamdulillah, I can't believe I am a mother of two!

Waiting Game

According to my LMP, today is my due date.

11/21/2015.

Guess where baby is? Still inside, all warm and toasty I'm sure!

COME ON BABY, MOMMA WANTS TO MEET YOU ALREADY!

Insha'Allah very very soon.

Ear infection

Noah has been sick every 2 - 3 weeks since the end of August #DAYCAREPROBLEMS.

Alhamdulillah he has not needed any antibiotics until last week.

His last illness started 11/1: runny nose, coughing, fever, congestion which again, turned into wheezing. We started him on nebs at home the day before we took him to the doc. At the visit, the doc gave him a neb treatment in the office and prescribed 1 week of neb (3 times a day) with prednisone for 5 days (third time on steroids in 2 months Subhanallah) and we decided it was finally time to pay a visit to a pulmonologist.

This episode has been the 5th Upper respiratory infection that resulted in him wheezing and needing nebulizer treatments. During the last episode, we took him to the ER (in October) because it was a weekend and it got pretty bad. He was having such difficulty breathing, he couldn't even sit still. The ER physician, suggested prophylactic use of pulmicort (steroid inhaled through nebulizer) every day with albuterol. We decided not to start it until an actual pulmonologist made a decision. 

So we finally met with Dr Deluca, last Wednesday, the lung guy, and a great guy at that! He basically said he's leaning towards Noah being an asthmatic without really giving a final diagnosis now, as Noah's under 2. He said if this pattern of Noah's cough-turn-wheezing continues until next May, he is definitely an asthmatic. He agreed with use of pulmicort and even suggested to use it twice a day until May...but we came to a compromise. My husbands suggestion was to use it for as long as Noah was still in daycare. Since we are taking Noah out of daycare this week (as I'm due in 1 week with baby #2), one: we will see if the occurence of him getting sick decreases... And two: if they do occur, does it lead to wheezing? If it does, we'll continue the nebulizer treatments until May.

Doc agreed.

Come Wednesday night into Thursday morning, Noah had a fever (but without other issues). I took off on Thursday to watch him. Gave him 3 doses of tylenol and fever came down. I thought he was teething because he was biting me (and nothing else, no runny nose, coughing, pulling ears, etc etc) but I didn't really see any new teeth. We decided we would take him to the doctor on Friday. Tahmeed was off that day anyway and coincidentally that day, my sister in law saw him pull his left ear...so she inspected and what do you know, REDNESS!!

Anyway, by the time I came home Friday, Noah had a fever of 102.3, my poor baby. I gave him tylenol and off we went to the doc...and of course...he had an ear infection!! His first one!!! He was given antibiotics to take 2 times a day for 10 days.

He doesn't like the antibiotic much so it's a scream fest each time with some spitting up. The neb treatments are also 2 times a day and are about 15-20 minutes each and the only way to get him to sit through that is...with screen time...and even then he'll randomly scream and try to remove the mask. Sigh. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

Alhamdulillah it could be worse and I am grateful for being able to get care when we need it and able to afford medication.

Insha'Allah he feels better soon. 

Blessings

I am working until I give birth, which can be any day from now until my due date (12 more days) to a maximum of 16 days.

Since the end of last week, I have been cutting back on my hours (I normally work 5 days a week, total of 40 hours). My supervising attending has been SO kind in letting me work as much as I physically can without demanding a pay cut. Some days I've worked 7-8 hours (8 hours is my usual), and other days I've worked 4. If that's not amazing, I really don't know what is. 

Alhamdulillah. Allah is the best of providers.

Baby wearing

For our firstborn, we received two baby carriers that we had put on our registry: Baby Bjorn (Miracle) and a Boba Wrap.

Using the baby bjorn was always an issue for me. No matter how I adjusted it, it would always put a strain on my shoulder and back. Not fun. Not fun at all. My husband, on the other hand, loved it! But for whatever reason, we weren't really able to use it much. It was a hassle to remember to grab it while we left the house. It was annoying for me to readjust it after Tahmeed's use. We always just opted to use the stroller instead. 

The boba wrap was used even less! I always felt like it was way too clingy to be used in the summer time, unless your baby was naked! And if I wanted to use it outside, I'd have to leave the house with it on! Cuz I wasn't gonna stand in a parking lot trying to adjust and wrap like 4' of fabric. It just felt kinda awkward. 

The Bjorn did come in very handy during tawaf when we went to umrah (poor baby was sick but asleep in the bjorn and Tahmeed was able to carry him!) but otherwise he wasn't really into them. I remember using them around the house to try to get him used to it and while I did housework (when he was only a few months old). I do recall him falling asleep a few times in them...And also drooling all over he fabric of the bjorn lol. Other times, I recall him being too fussy to wanna sit in the boba.

I'm not sure why we didn't do research but later on we found out that with long term use of Bjorns, baby's can get hip dysplagia! Carriers like Boba/moby wraps, ergo carriers and ring slings are better and place baby in a more natural position. 

Now with this baby I'm looking into slings. I was considering investing in one for Noah, but by the time I wanted to, I felt he was too big and just used to "being free" so I hesitated and never purchased one. 

There are a few sling brands I'm looking into: Sakura bloom, Desert Baby (by fellow Muslim blogger and fashionista Ascia!!) and Mamaway. Mamaway is the cheapest and is the only one I can return for free (through Amazon) in case it doesn't work out. I'm thinking of giving mamaway a test run and if it works out, returning it and investing in a Desert Baby ring sling (gotta support my fellow Muslim sista!).

I'm considering putting the boba and bjorn up for sale very soon and maybe even investing in an ergo carrier...as the husband refuses to wear a sling, lol. I think it would look so cute! Let's see if I can convince him. 

Inshallah some sort of carrier works out as I will definitely need it, working with 2 under 2 and living in a house with many stairs between ground level our apartment.

Hopefully baby girl will be more compliant than her brother. We shall see!

Getting Close

Just some quick updates:

About 2 more weeks until our baby girl is here! House has been cleaned and organized for the most part, alhamdulillah. We just have to wash her clothes (got her coming home outfit ready to go!) and get my hospital bag prepared.

I had two baby showers. One was thrown my family and friends which was super cute and got gifts from my coworkers, alhamdulillah.

Just requested our previous photographer again for a newborn / family shoot.

I'm still working 5 days a week but have cut back on my hours and will continue to do so until I am ready to deliver because it's been very difficult lately. I've been feeling a lot of pelvic pain, every time I get from bed or from any seated position.

I had my US today to check baby's weight. She is about 6 lbs 6 ounces right now, mashallah. Maybe she'll gain another pound by the time I deliver.

I also got a haircut! The last one I got was one year ago, lol. I'm just trying to get some pampering done before baby arrives because I can't even begin to imagine how crazy it will be with 2 under 2. Still need to color my hair (get rid of those grays!!!), get a facial, eyebrows, and a mani/pedi. Out of all of those, I will probably only get my eyebrows done, lol.

I can't think of anything else at the moment...except that it's 12 am and I am starving!

Momma, Baba

Noah is finally calling us "Momma" and "Baba" 

It started a few weeks ago, possibly early October (before he turned 20 months old) and it is THEEEE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD!! He will also point when you ask him, "Where is Baba / Momma?"

He is also calling his grandparents "dadha", "dadhu", "nana" and "nanu".

He has finally caught on, Alhamdulillah.

To Leash or Not to Leash?

Looks cute. 

Sounds harsh.

...But I don't personally think it is (harsh, that is!). I'm trying to think back to the days where I was childless and saw parents doing this. Did I ever secretly judge them? I honestly don't think I have and that's great because I am PRO "LEASHING"! And I would have totally felt stupid if I did judge cuz here I ammmmm, doing what I thought I would never do. 

This product is actually sitting in a Babies R Us cart online RIGHT NOW, for an in store pick up. I am a bit excited. I wish I had purchased this sooner. Let me tell you why. Noah likes to be free. He doesn't like sitting in the stroller for too long and I think it's unfair to expect a toddler to do that. I am also very pregnant (36 weeks, haaayyy!) and it's impossible for me to always run after him when I am alone with him outside. When husband is around, yes, he is super daddy but that's not always the case so this is a great alternative. He can go "wherever" he wants and I'll still have him close enough! Kids can disappear in a heart beat and there are so many damn predators out there! Just thinking about all that crazinesss is labor inducing, *whew*!

I just really hope he doesn't hate it because that would honestly suck, lol. 

Will update on progress soon!

Pacifier weaned!

The week before our baby moon (which was during labor day weekend) we had lost Noah's pacifier. I think there was a total of 20 that we had purchased over the course of the year and by the end we were left with two. One had already gone missing and the last one which had "momma's boy" written on it was no where to be found.

By that point, he wasn't toooooo dependent on it. We would shove it in his mouth if he was crying for no reason (lol) and when we put him to bed for the night. He would also grab it off the night table or wherever he found it and just put it in his mouth and suck on it for comfort.

I got nervous when I couldn't find it. Do I buy another one today? We're going on vacation in a week, we will definitely need something... but I decided to wait it out. Alhamdulillah he didn't need it during the week at daycare and even fell asleep without it!

But while we were packing for the trip at the end of the week, I found it...under the bed...as per usual. Ok let's take it with us, JUST IN CASE. We used it during the vacation here and there but I think because he had gone a week without it, it just didn't provide that same comfort. It didn't make him stop crying. He would spit it out and overall just didn't seem interested. That's a thumbs up, no? Well not when you have a tantrum throwing toddler while on vacation and are so very pregnant and dont know what to do! sigh,

Anyway, on the plane ride back home, I was seated by the window and towards the end of the flight, it fell out of his mouth and into an unreachable crevice. I was just so upset during the plane ride because he was throwing the BIGGEST tantrums in the world that I decided it was JUST NOT WORTH IT AND TIME TO LET GO!!! Maybe a sort of punishment for being such a brat on the plane, lol.


...and that was fine!!! BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN WITHOUT IT FOR 2 WHOLE MONTHS!!!
 YAY! Alhamdulillah.



Nowwwww it's time for the next mission, which should have been completed over 2-3 months ago...How do we get him to drink milk from a cup?!

Pregnancy ups and downs.

Sometimes I need a little break.

From life, from its craziness. 

I'm starting to get drained and exhausted. Initially I was going to work until I gave birth but I decided I can't do it anymore. I've requested to take off staring November. I need all the time I can get to organize the house and my life. Now I'm just waiting to see if they'll accept my request. 

I have about 7 weeks left until my due date and honestly I am just scared. I wasn't even this scared with my first child. 

I'm a mixed bag of emotions. 

Oh pregnancy is so much fun. 

Fortunate

At a time when there is crisis in the world, I look at the ease in which I am able to get my son medical help. We have private health insurance, we were seen so quickly in the ER last night and we are able to afford his treatments. We live in a safe neighborhood, with a roof on our head and food in our bellies. We both have secure jobs with good pay. 

Alhamdulillah. 

I look at my son during these times and and I cannot help to think of all the helpless children in the world who do not have access to basic needs. It gets me very very emotional and feeling helpless. I can't discuss it with him either because he gets emotional as well...

It just makes me realize how blessed we truly are. Alhamdulillah. And I think, do not get too attached to anything, as Allah can take away so easily as He gives. 

Alhamdulillah for everything. 

Powerless

I'm starting to get anxious about many things but trying to focus my energy and thoughts only on the positive. 

I keep swaying back and forth between choosing to try a VBAC or just opting for a c section. I'm so nervous about the last 10 weeks of this pregnancy. I can't decide the next step about work. I can't decide who will watch my children if I do go back. My husband is trying to see if he can take on this new "project" which might require a lot of shifting (and a lot of money) in our life. 

All of these seem so superficial but that's what I deal with internally every day. These are [some of] my struggles.

I do not have full control over my life. It is all in Allah's hand. I can only work with what Allah gives me. And I can raise my hands and ask for help. 

Alhamdulillah for what it is, and alhamdulillah for what it is not. 

Babymoon, Part II.

September 5. Saturday morning. 6:39 am: Arrival at international check in desk for Jet Blue at JFK. Flight departure: 7:30am. 

"You guys can't go today. Gate's closed. You're late." 

"...What?" 

"You're late. Check in is at least 2 hours for international flight. You can't go. The flight is in an hour...Next flight is tomorrow, 11 am." 

And this was the first time we heard those words. The first time EVER that we had missed a flight. 

It was completely our fault. 

We went to bed at 1:30 am the morning of and woke up at 4 am. Our initial plan was to leave the house at 430 am but with everything combined, we ended up leaving at 530. We picked up my FIL, as he would drive us there. Then we picked up his best friend and wife, as they were accompanying us as well. Then off to the airport! No one was panicking in the car, not us, not our friends. It wasn't even a question. 

"You're sure we can't go? There's still an hour left until departure." 

"Hold on."

The clerk at the check in desk made some calls. 

"It's too late. It's an issue of checked bags and making it through security." 

"Can we go somewhere else instead, we'll go anywhere."

"Oh sure you can, just have to call the people you booked it through to see what they can do for you." 

We were in shock but everyone remained calm. No one blamed each other. No voices were raised. No 'tudes were given. We just moved over to the side to figure out the next plan of action. We had booked a 5 people airfare and board for the weekend at Turks & Caicos. Paid in full. Non refundable. 

Our friend made the phone call to Jet Blue. I turned my back and started crying but then pulled myself together very quick. I was upset but not necessarily because we missed the flight, but because it was our fault. "I just don't get how this happened! How did we assume we can roll up an hour before and make it in time? I don't even know what to think now."

I kept telling myself, "This has to be for the best. Allah knows best, He is the best planner. No one in this group ever misses a flight..." I kept telling myself to "be patient, be content with what transpired. Allah is watching, this was His doing. It could be worse." I started doing dhikhr and made dua, lots of dua. 

Jet Blue couldn't offer us anything. We went back to the clerk and decided we would take the next day out. "There's 150 seats and you'll be on standby but if you pay $50/person you're guaranteed a seat." I felt bad. "Sure, I'll pay for all of us." I handed my credit card and she then said, "Are you SURE you wanna pay? There's many seats available I'm sure you guys will get on."

Because of that, I hesitated. 

"Okay lemme just discuss it with my husband." 

We moved over to the side again. He agreed we should just pay and get it sealed. 

During that time, our friend checked his Jet Blue app to see an alert stating our flight was actually delayed until 7:55 am!! At this point it's already 715 am. We got excited! Maybe this means we have a chance!

We walked over to the clerk and bought it up. "Look at this alert! We should be able to go now, flight has been delayed." She had no idea as she didn't get the alert. So she walked over and spoke to some official, it was probably only a few minutes but it felt like forever!!... Came back and said, "Ok! You guys are good to go!" 

What!! aHHhHH!!!! Alhamdulillah this is amazing!!

Had our friend not had the app, nor checked it, we wouldn't have gotten the chance.

We scrambled to grab our bags from the other end of the check in counter. She moved quick. Checked our bags and gave us our boarding passes. We ran to security check. It was PACKED. There would be no way we would make it!! Husband, friend and baby stood in line while we tried to shoo a TSA agent who was on the other side. I told them the ordeal and asked if we could move to the front of the line. They were a little hesitant as they thought we would never make it but they agreed and let us skip everyone, alhamdulillah! Now I had to find the boys. In a matter of 5 minutes they disappeared into the sea of people. Eventually found them, went through checkpoint which seemed like another trial! We got stopped for baby milk inspection. Our friend was patted down extensively. It seemed like we were moving at turtle speed but we made it through!! 

We ran to the gate listed on our ticket. The clerk at the desk told us the gate was changed to twenty so and so, and not to rush as it's delayed.

We rushed anyway. I pushed the stroller and Tahmeed ran with Noah in his arms (who btw was being super fussy lol). 

We got to the gate to find out it's been delayed some more, and boarding was 815 am or so.

Whew. Alhamdulillah. We made it. We made it we made it we made it!!! How did this happen? Now we were all able to take a little breather. Whew. We changed Noah's diaper and I went to grab breakfast. 

While Tahmeed was sitting at the gate, they made an announcement. There was a legitimate reason for the flight delay. The pilot did not feel comfortable taking the initial plane due to maintenance issues it was having. He didn't feel it was safe so decided to wait for the next plane to arrive from Boston. 

Seriously?! 

Maintenance issues!!

When I heard that, all I thought was, "Subhanallah, how Allah has saved us!! Oh how kind He is!" I was just in utter disbelief. This was crazy! It all happened for a reason. I knew it. Allah was always testing us. There was no way we were supposed to make the flight. No way, no how. Oh how sabr helped us get through! 

But we still remained a bit hesitant."Won't believe it until we land!"

And then the time came to finally board. The plane ride was smooth. Noah got his own free seat in between us and fell asleep for most of it as he was probably super exhausted. 

Then we finally did land, in Turks and Caicos, a few hours later. 

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. 

It was a humbling experience, for me at least. 

Nothing occurs except for which Allah wants. We are essentially powerless. 

I was reminded these profound words from Allah. 

"O' You who believe! Seek My help with patience and prayer: surely, Allah is with those who are patient." (Quran 2:153)

And of course,  

"Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you do not." (Quran 2:216)

Turks and Caicos ended up being a great trip. 

Alhamdulillah and ameen. 

Not prepared

Baby number 2's arrival is fast approaching. She arrives in about 9-10 weeks Insha'Allah and there is just SO MUCH LEFT TO DO! 

I need to utilize my weekends ASAP.

Overwhelming

I was never the type of girl to feel overwhelmed but perhaps it was because I never had any "real" responsibilities to manage. 

During my undergrad days, sure I took a lot classes and helped run an organization but I didn't work full time, didn't cook, wasn't married nor did I manage a household. Life was simple and straight forward. 

Life is still pretty simple alhamdulillah but now...with a toddler, full time job, another pregnancy and a household to run, I find myself feeling overwhelmed majority of the time.

My mother in law has been a saving grace because she has taken the responsibility of feeding us. She does it out of the kindness of her heart and spoils us rotten to the point where I feel I probably would not be able to survive without her help, lol. This is when I think of those days when my mother used to say, "you'll regret not learning to cook one day!" It's not so much the learning I regret but the ability to manage everything. Desi cooking is cumbersome. 

I personally don't like to compare my life to others. For that, I am very grateful. My struggle is my own. I don't look at social media posts and assume a certain persons life is amazing. Everyone has struggles, everyone is human. There is no such thing as perfection. 

I am praying with baby #2, life will be a little less overwhelming, as I will either cut back on my day job or even quit. Perhaps then, I will find the time to just sit back "without a care" in the world. Inshallah. Amen. 

Bedtime

We used to be on a great schedule, in bed by 8, knocked out by 830...which left me and the husband all this time to do...whatever we wanted/needed. We sacrificed many dinner invitations, and general invitations if they occurred past 8 o clock, all for the sake of our child and his bedtime. I don't regret it at all because he was doing good...until recently. 

We would push the bedtime curfew here and there, as he was becoming less fussier around that time. Now bedtime is anywhere from 9-10 pm, even if he's taken to bed at 8. He'll toss and turn for an hour or so.

We gotta figure out how to tire him out so he's back to his old self again...asap. 

Pregnancy

I am currently 21 weeks and 1 day.

We had our anatomy scan yesterday and I swear the realization that I was pregnant finally hit me like a ton of bricks. 

It was also the day we found out the gender. 

I was nervous all morning, a good nervous. In the exam room, I was jittery and could feel my heart racing. 

Once I saw the baby on the screen, with its hands moving, I became so emotional. Tahmeed and Noah were also there, and we both wanted to cry. This was it, another beautiful baby Allah has blessed us with. I couldn't believe it. I've been so busy with life in general to think about this baby, plus baby has been pretty quiet, only starting to kick very recently. 

The heart was pumping and I saw all the beautiful ventricles. Today was also the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. The spine, the brain, the stomach, all beautiful and intact. All together, a 12 ounce baby. "Baby is healthy and so cooperative, I have a feeling this will be the best one I've done today!" said the sonographer. Alhamdulillah. 

Alhamdulillah, what a blessing! 

18 more weeks and we will meet our new love inshallah. 

And later on today, we're doing a gender reveal to our family. I'm going to make a cake with the batter being the color of the baby's gender. It'll be covered with white butter cream so in order to find out, you have to cut the cake. 

And the batter will be pink becauseeeeeeeeeee it's a girl. Alhamdulillah. 

Mecca Live

Today, an app named snapchat, listened to requests from its followers and added the city "Mecca" to its live feed. 

This app allows users to snap pictures and little videos. 

Tonight is also the 27th night of Ramadan 2015, "The Night of Power", the night where the Quran was first revealed to the Prophet Muhammed Sallahu Alaihi Wasalam. Great timing on snapchats end. 

Watching it all got me so emotional. Its all less than 400 seconds of clips and pics. It took me back to the time we went for Umrah in March, to the time I saw the Kaaba for the first time. I will never ever forget that special moment. Subhanallah and Alhamdulillah for being given the opportunity.

It's just an amazing moment in history. This app is used by millions of people and everyone will get a glimpse of what Islam has to offer inshallah. 

Here are a few snaps I screen shot

     Getting free Iftar ready for everyone 

 

Look at all those people! 14 million currently in Mecca, Subhanallah!

I realized I need to document more historic moments on this blog. Many changes are happening in the world. I promise to try. 

 

Bad habits.

Noah was never one to chew on his hands or feet. He did go through the chewing hand phase at around 3 months of age but that ended real quick. I wasn't complaining! I didn't have to deal with saliva drenched smelly hands and feet!

Or so I thought...

A few weeks ago, he started putting his fingers and hands in his mouth and would also just chew on his forearms!!

What also happened a few weeks ago? DAYCARE.

Daycare.

New habit.

New habit from day care?!

This is the only correlation I have come up with! He must have definitely caught on from the other kids. It's disgusting. It's slimy. His face, hands and arm smell like spit anddddddd he thinks it's so hilarious when I move his hand away and say, "stop."

Sigh.

I guess there's nothing I can really do except let him enjoy this phase. Babies will be babies (...except he's really a toddler and is growing up so fast but omgggg, I can't stop calling him a baby!)

This will end soon. I just have to wait it out.

Daycare: End of Week 3

Just dropped Noah off and he did not cry one bit!! Alhamdulillah! He even came up to me babbling and then walked away. All smiles and laughter. I am so happy! Alhamdulillah. 

I'm hoping this three day weekend doesn't bring us back to square one. *fingers crossed*

"Appo"

Yesterday's conversation:

"Noah, would you like some apples?"

"Appo!" *om nom nom nom*

"Omggggggg did you just say apple?!?" 

Yes, yes he did! My baby said apple! 

And he said it two more times after that! 

Yay for new words! 

Gift

Noah made his Baba a little something at daycare for Father's Day.

I was told he didn't enjoy the paint on his foot, lol. 

They put it in a frame, wrapped it and decorated the gift bag as well. It was all just too cute. 

Happy Father's Day to all great fathers, today and every day! 

Again.

Pregnant.

Again.

With baby number 2!

Alhamdulillah.

I found out on March 26, about 5 days after returning home from Umrah (another post I've been meaning to write) through an in home pregnancy test (sorry if that's TMI for my children who will read this when they're older, lol) By then I was already 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. I had no idea the first month but the second month hit me like a ton of bricks! I was extremely fatigued and had nausea ALL day. I needed food in my belly at all times. I was super bloated, maybe from all the food I ate but none of my pants fit! That made me cry. Yes, super emotional Zasia was in effect too. I was able to wear most of my every day clothes during my first pregnancy and I thought, "So soon?! If this was month two then what would the rest feel like? I'm gonna turn into a whale!!" At one point I seriously thought I was depressed because my symptoms were lasting for over 2 weeks. Depression VS lots of crazy pregnancy hormones?! I was considering getting an evaluation had it continued but Alhamdulillah it didn't. So yeah, it was those crazy preggo hormones. 

Now I am 18 weeks in and have feeling pretty good, since 2nd trimester hit alhamdulillah. 

The gender: unknown, will find out in about 2 weeks. I have a hunch it's a girl. My instincts were right during the first pregnancy so maybe it's right again, hehe. But honestly it doesn't matter, (Allah knows best) although girls clothes are always so darn cute! If anything I have two baby nieces (one on the way) who I can always spoil. I'll just live vicariously through that, lol. 

I'm due in November. Planning another scheduled c-section, kinda considering a VBAC (vaginal birth after C section) but I'm not too sure because the very very tiny percentage of uterine rupture scares me. 

I was looking for a new OB because of some qualms from my first delivery but it's been difficult. I prefer only a female OB/GYN and a lot of the physicians (with great reviews) work on teams with male counterparts. Let's see what happens!

I'm just taking each day as it comes and alhamdulillah time has been flying by so fast I sometimes forget how far along I am. Inshallah the rest of the pregnancy is smooth and baby turns out healthy. 

That's all we really want :)

Daycare: Week One

Week 1 ended quickly and left us with a sick baby. 

I dropped Noah off at daycare 4 out of the 5 days. Each day was worse than the previous day. Every drop off consisted of a crying and screaming fit. It consisted of drool and slobber everywhere. There was a whole lot of clingliness and just a very unhappy baby. My husband had Friday off from work so it was his turn. I waited in the car and he came out pretty quickly...And was pretty horrified by Noah's reaction. 

On my days, I made sure he didn't see me when it was time to leave. I didn't have the heart to do that. I would face him away from the main door, kiss his head and skip away quietly and quickly. The second day was the only day I didn't hear his screams as I exited the front door. 

The teacher, Ms. Mariann is nice. They daycare uses an app called "Learning Genie" where they update about mealtime, naps, activities and diapers. They can also post pictures. Mariann tries to update as much as she can, and it's very comforting (except that he looks pretty unhappy in the pics, lol) but she swears he's content, after his crying fits are done of course. My husband or I also call once each day, just to see how he's doing. She also reassured us that by week 2, it should get easier to drop him off. 

Example of Learning Genie from day 1: 

There are 3-4 other boys in his group so alhamdulillah he does get attention. At the moment, he's only going 1/2 time, 8 am -  12 pm, and the rest is spent at his grandparents. Maybe in a few weeks we will transition to full time. 

We avoided daycare for a long time because of illnesses associated with going. My husband was more reluctant than I but it came to a point where we kind of had no choice. I feel guilty for working full time and sending him there but I remind myself that its good for him, he gets to interact with other children and play... All day. Now who wouldn't love playing all day? Plus the daycare has great reviews and some parents we spoke to were pretty satisfied, alhamdulillah. 

Now this weekend will be spent recuperating. He's got a runny nose, sniffles and a fever. Inshallah praying he is well by Monday so we can repeat this process all over again. And I have a feeling these fits will not end any time soon. 

Daycare: Day One

Sitting in the car right now after leaving the day care center. 

Right before I left, I placed him in the play area, sat him next to the teacher, kissed the top of his head and walked away quickly. 

My heart just feels very heavy, I want to cry. 

Now I have to get to work so can't update much. Will finish later. 

"Bah bah!"

On the way inside the house yesterday, Noah heard the neighborhood dog barking. He perked up his head, listened intently and then repeated, "bah! bah!" (bow bow). He did it a few times. It was the first I've heard him make the noise and it was way too cute, mashallah. Luckily I was able to also record it. 

And today, when we've asked him, "what does the dog say?" He repeats "bah! bah!" 

Now if only it were this easy to get him to call me "momma". SIGH...the struggle is real folks, the struggle is real. 

Chicken

Yesterday was supposed to be Noah's first (half day) of daycare. But I chickened out. I didn't have the heart to send him. We had just got back from our Michigan trip on Sunday and I was not mentally prepared to hand him over. The idea  literally brought me to tears. 

Perhaps my hesitancy had to do with how quick we chose the daycare. We were set on a different one for so long. I dunno what it was but there was definitely a feeling of discomfort in my gut. I like to go with those feels. 

So Istikhara was done and we requested my in laws to watch him for just one more week until we figured things out. 

Today, the husband had a chance to revisit our first choice again. He negotiated pricing, as there was a huge difference between the two centers. Alhamdulillah, they came down $200! (Had we not mentioned anything, look at how much extra we would have paid, sheesh!) He's set on the initial place again. I, on the other hand, am still not sure. 

Since he has the day off on Friday, he's going to take Noah over to get a little feel. We'll see what happens. Inshallah Allah will give what's best. 

To write.

I have so many thoughts I want to post about.

The world and its affairs. My reflection, for my children. 

Noah's first birthday.

My struggle with minimalism.

An important trip.

Gifts. 

- - - - 

This is my "to write list". 

Inshallah I shall tackle these soon. Life has just been a bit busy. Alhamdulillah. 

Edges

I look at myself in the mirror. 

Unkempt hair. Grayness creeping out from nowhere and everywhere. Wrinkles. Blemishes. Clogged pores. Dark circles. Dry skin. Horrible skin. Unruly eyebrows. Mini mustache. Empty earlobes. Bare neck. Postpartum belly. Oh man, that postpartum belly...

"It's ok, I'll fix it tomorrow", says my mind. 

But tomorrow has yet to come. 

More firsts

Saturday, January 24th.

Noah was pulling my hair, as usual. And it hurt...very bad, AS USUAL. So I got frustrated, removed his hand and gave him a stern look. "STOP" I said, trying to hold a steady disciplinary voice. He sat back a little, looked me in the eyes, paused and said, "THAP!" I couldn't believe he just said stop! I was holding back my smile and laughter but he caught on so he started laughing and repeated THAP a few more times.

If you count "dada", (paternal grandfather) "mamma" (which he RARELY says), "babba", and "ey jeh" then "stop" technically isn't his first word..but those other words are also sounds all babies make to make so I'll take that stop and run with it.


Sunday, January 25th.

I asked him give me a kiss, like I usually do. "Maya deo baba, ekta maya deo.." That statement is usually proceeded by me giving him a huge kiss. This time it was different. I think it finally clicked in his cute little head because before I had my chance to kiss HIM, he leaned in with his mouth open and gave ME the sloppiest kiss. I loved it! He now will either give a headbutt or a sloppy kiss when I ask for one.

Saturday, January 31st.

Tooth number 5 came in (right lateral incisor) and this is the first time Noah showed signs of distress: clinginess, fussiness, crying, febrile. I felt bad for the bubs but alhamdulillah because it could've been worse. 


Superbowl Sunday Feb 1st.

He repeated "UP" after a family member kept telling him to "Come up" onto the couch.



These are all wonderful firsts and in less than 2 weeks, he will have another first, his birthday!

Crib Training V2.01

Part II 
Night 1

I just decided out of the blue that I would attempt crib training Noah...again. Tonight of all nights. Yes I have work tomorrow. Yes I am exhausted  and yes I would rather not deal with this...but I told myself to toughen up and get it over with. 

8 pm.

I put him in his extra large sleeveless white sleep sack. (Only used when sleeping in the crib because he is not a fan of blankets).We walked over to the nursery. The lights were already off. I turned on his very ugly Mr. Mets pillow-night-light which projects flashing-colored-stars onto the ceiling. He was intrigued. Ooohhs and aaahs and babbling because he loves it. I made sure his crib had those cute little pillows and koolbalish and I sat him down with a pacifier already in place. He likes comfort so I really tried to make it snuggly. 

Bismillah. Here goes....

For about 15-20 minutes we played a game. He would grunt and try to stand up (failing many times due to the extra long sleep sack) and every time he stood up, either halfway or full, I grabbed him and laid him right back down onto his pillow. Up again. Down again. Up. Down. Up. Down.  MANY. MANY. Times. All while remaining silent. I almost gave up. "He's not gonna go to sleep, he's just not..he's too happy and alert..but at least he's not crying!" I thought. 

He started to smack and kick the crib railing... And smacking the back wall of the crib. Grabbing the pillows. Throwing the pillows. Biting the pillows. Babbling and oohing some more. Exploring his territory I suppose. 

It took about an hour but he put himself to sleep. Alhamdulillah. Could it be this easy, again? Well, let's see..

12 am, a scream. Hey, at least he lasted 3 hours!

1226 am, another scream and cry.

Nope. 
Not gonna be easy. 

It's going to be a long night. 

Amma

This morning, while I was preparing Noah's milk, he was being very whiny  and just wanted to be held. He crawled over to me and grabbed onto my leg. He kept pulling my pjs back and forth while attempting to stand and oh yeah, he was crying throughout it all. I had to make sure his milk wasn't falling all over the place while holding my leg at that perfect angle to prevent him from falling down. All I could do was verbally console him. "It's ok mama.." (As per Tahmeed, I should be calling him baba. Who cares, it's 2015, AMIRIGHT or AMIRIGHT?!)

"Umm mum mum mum...umm mum mum mum.." *tug on leg* "umm mum mum mum.." *tugs some more* "umm mum.." 

And then it hit me!! He's calling me! "Amma"! Those are the babbling sounds he never makes so I know it's true! Yes, he loves me, he really loves me! 

And I continue to fall in love over and over again. Sighs...

Memories

This age is the cutest. He's almost 11 months (tomorrow). He's crawling, holding onto things, babbling, recognizing people. I can't get over the cuteness and want to cuddle with him especially when I think about how fast time is going by. 

I try to recall the first few months of his life but it's all a blur. I had a few videos recorded at that stage but somehow they got lost / erased. *trying not to think about it* Le SIGH. 

Anyway, here are some month 10 memories:

Eating more solids than milk. 2 meals per day plus snacks. 

Waving bye a few times.

Opening cabinets and doors. 

Pulling clothes out of the drawers.

Absolutely throwing a tantrum when clothes / winter coat and accessories are being put on.

Moving about during diaper changing time. 

Biting mommy and daddy and finding it hilarious. 

Giving the best droolsome kisses with a mouth open wide while saying, "ahhhh..." 

Being able to properly eat finger foods.

Holding and drinking from his sippy cup for the first time!

Holding onto his walker and taking walks.

Being able to climb a few steps!! 

Saying dada, baba and an occasional momma. 

I'll add some more as I recall them. I just can't believe he's almost 1! Alhamdulillah he is such a happy baby. May Allah always preserve his happiness.

Diaper changing time

"Diaper changing time" is the phrase that Tahmeed sings to Noah each time he places him on the napper station (which is part of his playard.)

It's a bit easy to change his diaper there. He's restricted and we usually distract him with a toy. He doesn't try to move much and associates the place with a diaper change. 

But if we are out, boy it can take up to 4 people to change a diaper! (That was the case last night...I was changing his diaper, Tahmeed was holding him and my MIL/ family friend was distracting him, LOL) He cries when being put down in an unfamiliar place. He squirms and moves and gets back on his belly and starts crawling away. He refuses to sit still, even with distractions in his hand. 

This behavior doesn't occur on changing stations at stores but generally if we are over at people's house. Maybe he has some intuition that he's able to run amuck? dunno. I just hope he doesn't pee on me during one of the longer changes. 

First birthday

He will be 1 years old on February 13th and there has been all this pressure from both my mother and mother in law to throw a huge party. 

"He's our only grandson, we want a big party!" (mom and MIL) 

"You HAVE to do it, I don't care, nope!" (My mom, lol) 

"I'm kinda shocked and can't understand why you guys don't want a party." (My MIL, lol) 

Because of that, we've been going back and forth and I keep leaving the final decision to Tahmeed.

 

"OK...Whatever you think, I'll do, I can't decide..." "Ok let's just do it..." "Maybe not.." "I dunno!" *insert sweating bullets emoticon*

Don't get me wrong, I love parties and I absolutely love planning but for some reason, both Tahmeed and I are just not interested in having a huge birthday blast. The guest list is at least 90 people, max 110, and since it's in the winter, we'd have to host at a restaurant or banquet hall and that requires a lot of $$$. We could have coughed up the dough but there are other things going on in our life that are > a birthday bash and require that cashmoneyflowwww. 

We finally decided we will stick to our original plan: intimate house party, with immediate family (i.e both sets of grandparents and aunts), which is max 8-9 people. Maybe in a few years we can have the big party, when he'll remember, and enjoy because he'll have friends his own age.

And I do have other plans for his birthday / week. I'd like to have a 1st birthday smash cake photo shoot (on the actual day) proceeded by the cute little party at home. We'll still get a nice cake, decorations, get dressed up, take pictures, give Noah some presents. 

I'll also be taking that week off, mostly, as my family will be in town and I'm more excited to hang out with them! Inshallah. 

Who knows, maybe we'll change our mind again.